spider site

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

january 3, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

december 16, 2022. near Roxbury, NY. fujifilm instax square.

one of my favorite selfies from the series i took for the montage i made for joe. december 22, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax sq6.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

november, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

november 9, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

november 8, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

december, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

november, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

november, or december, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

november, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

december, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

november 7, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

november 3, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

november 2, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

october 31, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

“humans eventually learn how we like/want to look in a photograph. but it is almost performative, and not real. how can i counter that? who am i trying to impress? or better yet-what am i trying to prove & to who? myself, sure. but it is almost like the point self portraiture, or my approach to self portraiture, is to prove that i am beautiful. is it more than that? it is probably also fulfilling my need (the basic human need) to be seen, remembered, admired, and so on. we have sort of been programmed to believe that personal photographs are only meant to show good things…our good side, a good time…but as an artist, is it not my job to make self portraits that show just a little more? i should aim to show truth and reality, not some curated version of it…”

ramblings from my self absorbed journal session this morning. reflecting on the (multiple) self portrait projects or “series” that i am working on and asking myself questions. i took two self portraits while i was journaling. i guess i took two because the first photo i made, i felt like i made a photograph that i expected to see, one that i would look at myself and feel content or satisfied? but then i got uncomfortable by that idea and decided that this new “selfie series” i am starting, among the others that i have been working on, that i need to work a little harder to make self portraits that challenge me more. i need to stop making photos of myself that “satisfy” whatever weird, ego-driven needs i have while making self portraits and i need to make photos that i don’t end up thinking about how i look.

october 31, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. fujifilm instax square.

playing around. october 29, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. polaroid sx-70.

walking around looking for the nice bits of light before the end of the day. september 20, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. canon 5d mark ii.

before work one day. near Cobleskill, NY. june 25, 2022. canon 5d mark ii.

from a jaunt through the woods. march 17, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. canon 5d mark ii.

the light in the kitchen, right before i went on a jaunt with evugh and joe. march 16, 2022. near Cobleskill, NY. canon 5d mark ii.

me and some peonies from barbara ann’s garden. june 14, 2020. Pittsfield, NY. fuji film instax square.

i waited three months for this gel nail kit to come in the mail, and they all broke off the next day. june 10, 2020. Pittsfield, NY. fujifilm instax square.

from a walk with lily. may 20, 2020. Pittsfield, NY. canon rebel sl1.

tried to get myself in the sun. may 20, 2020. Pittsfield, NY. canon rebel sl1.

took a rainy walk around mom’s property. decemeber 14, 2019. Pittsfield, NY. canon rebel sl1.

two different days, two different self portraits. january 2019. Philadelphia, PA. handmade photomontage. fujifilm instax square.

self portrait at a gas station. january 30, 2019. NE Philadelphia, PA. handmade photomontage. fujifilm instax square.

an old self portrait from when i was living in philadelphia. sometime in 2018. Philadelphia, PA. polaroid 600.

self portrait of me getting dressed in layers of thermal to run to wally’s, in the cold, before they closed. january 27, 2019. Philadelphia, PA. fujifilm instax square.

tried to get a picture the water droplets running down my skin, macro setting while taking a self portrait is harder to do than i’d hoped. january 22, 2019. Philadelphia, PA. fujifilm instax square.

my blue hair dyed my pillowcase. december 2018. Philadelphia, PA. iphone photo.

cleaned out my vacuum and found myself. 2018. Philadelphia, PA. iphone photo.

the sun is my most dangerous lover; it can burn me with it’s kisses and i keep going back for more. june 12, 2017. Philadelphia, PA. iphone photo.

amaia gave me a haircut after months of serious consideration. february 26, 2016. Roxbury, MA. iphone photo.

hung upside down on the back of mauricio’s truck for a minute or so. Yale Norfolk 2015. june 11, 2015. Norfolk, CT. canon mark II.

after a day of smashing flowers in the printmaking studio. june 16, 2015. Norfolk, CT. android photo.

in the art barn. may 30, 2015. Norfolk, CT. android photo.

self portrait with my rug. april 2015. Roxbury, MA. canon mark II.

self portrait in my bed. march 2015. Roxbury, MA. canon mark II.

my second attempt. self portrait. handmade photomontage. january 2015. Boston, MA. canon mark II.

walking through my neighborhood in Roxbury, MA. october 2014. fujifilm instax wide.

self portrait on my way home from MassArt one lazy day. september 4, 2014. Boston, MA. fujifilm instax wide.

self portrait in Brockton, MA. august 2014. fujifilm instax wide.

i see quagmire, from family guy. march 2014. Roxbury, MA. fujifilm instax wide.

the canvas shows that i am a clean slate and my portrait can be whatever i make it. taken at the Salvation Army in Utica, NY. march, 2013. 35mm B&W film

self portrait from the summer between my second and third year of college. i was back in my hometown, had no job and was just waiting for the summer to end so i could head to boston. july 2013. New Berlin, NY. polaroid 600.